The Everything Parent's Guide to the Defiant Child by Jesse Jayne Rutherford & Kathleen Nickerson

Author:Jesse Jayne Rutherford & Kathleen Nickerson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Adams Media, Inc.
Published: 2010-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

How to Bond and Create a Safe Environment

Because toddlers are so sensitive to change and are in the crucial period for forming bonds with caregivers, some special considerations for bonding and creating a secure environment are in order.

Caregivers and Love

If you’re like most families today, you need two sources of income to make ends meet. If neither parent can stay home with the child, you’re probably one of millions of parents whose toddler is in some type of extended care, whether in your own home, in a neighborhood day care, in an educational daycare/preschool environment, or at a relative’s home. Remember that children form an attachment to one primary caregiver, with all other bonds being subsequent. If you want yourself or your spouse to be the primary attachment figure in your child’s life, you must take steps to bond during your free time.

Essential

Time alone with Mom or Dad is a very attractive reward to children of this age, especially if a new sibling has entered the picture. Carving out half-hour blocks for simple playing or reading books together can go a long way toward improving toddler behavior.

There are a few things you can do to strengthen your bond with your toddler. Spend time cuddling, reading, playing, and talking. If you want to build a bond with your child and have little time to do so, avoid watching television together or going on “big” outings to amusement parks or other high-stimulus environments where you’ll spend more time interacting with the environment than with each other. If you do have the disposable income for this type of activity, consider spending it instead on help around the home so you can spend more one-on-one time with the toddler.

Routine and Security

You can’t protect your child from the outside world completely or forever. However, when your child is a toddler, it’s worth a try. Routine and security help toddlers have the calm and peace they need to master their new skills and develop healthy emotions, so put your best effort into insulating your child from stress and change by establishing a daily rhythm that is somewhat predictable. At the least, try to have a nightly “wind-down” routine that moves from dinner to bed in a series of steps that are repeated and end with the child in bed at the same time every night. (This will also help everyone get a better night’s sleep.) Don’t throw bedtime out the window more than a few times a year. Maintaining this routine will help the child feel stable when stressors do occur, such as a move, marital tension, or a new baby.

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